Apologia

The way weddings are portrayed in television and movies is an indicator that the institution is far afield from its intended purpose. The very idea of a covenant is foreign to people today, for society considers it barbaric to invoke a blood oath that can’t be violated without the penalty of death. There are countries that will still stone someone for breaking this vow, but they aren’t ones that are appealing to tourists, and their views and actions entirely miss the point of scripture and the heart of God.

In fact, this topic is so unpopular, I’m pretty sure a large percentage of readers haven’t made it beyond the first paragraph, and by the end of this article, others will have blocked me from their feeds. So be it.

God’s word concerning marriage was included in the creation narrative of Genesis chapter 2 which means that the only thing more pressing in God’s word given to Moses was the fact that the universe was authoritatively created by the one true God (and not a struggle amidst a pantheon of gods), and that He established a day of rest for His creation. Both the Sabbath and marital covenant embody the Anointed One who would come into the world and give Himself up for His bride, the church, and establish an everlasting covenant of rest from works of the Law in order to bring us into a position of peace with our Creator.

The word that establishes marriage comes from Genesis 2:23-25 (ESV), 

Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Concerning this text, Jesus declared, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

In doing so, Jesus confirmed the nature of the covenant as being a lifelong union between a man and a woman. God mercifully allowed Moses to offer a writ of divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts. There are times in which it is harmful to one or both individuals for the union to continue, especially if there is deception or abuse involved. However, people have taken this simple act of mercy and used it as a foothold to completely dismantle the covenant.

Despite the hubris of our legislators and judges, nobody has the right to redefine the covenant of marriage because it was defined at creation. This is not a covenant that was specific to Israel or to the church but to all who descend from Adam. This is why marriage has existed in every culture on earth throughout history.

Today, people have reoriented the wedding to be a day of bridal worship, and a celebration event to impress their friends and neighbors. They have replaced vows with sappy sonnets, and the strength of their commitment is based on emotional attachment rather than a sacrificial promise. Some have even turned it into a simple legal contract by removing any religious components.

Those who attend the wedding are meant to be a witness to the covenant. While there may be a hierarchy of people from the wedding party to the guests, all are supposed to play an important role in verifying the covenant and promising to help the couple keep their commitment to one another. The tradition of asking for objections was intended to address any issues among the witnesses which would keep them from being able to bless the covenant and help the couple hold to it.

Christians should be among the most enthusiastic about the true nature of marriage, for according to the apostle Paul, it is a mystery that points to Christ's relationship with the church for which He sacrificially gave up His life. Husbands should be willing to sacrificially serve their wives and wives faithfully honor their husbands. In doing so, the relationship can be a shining witness to the grace and mercy of Christ.